7 Words to Avoid for {Younger} Professionals

Throughout my career, I've spent a lot of time coaching young professionals and one of the things that I've observed is that the colloquial language that is often used amongst peers is one of the biggest detractors in what is coined as "executive presence" but is really just speaking articulately in a business setting. Executive presence is a nebulous term - kind of along the lines of "professional maturity." 

I started making a list of common phrases that I hear and/or have coached people on - but then took it to the "streets" aka my team slack channel, asking what words they have worked to stop using in professional settings. What was interesting in the conversation was people chiming in with requests for help (UGH I DO THAT - what are better ways to stop?), and then awesome suggestions for help. Below are some of my thoughts - and some of the team's thoughts. I've color coded the big female / male ones as well:

• Ending a statement in a question - This. is. a. big. one. for. every. single. young. female. I. have. ever. worked with. OKAY - not a word, but a way of speaking. It cannot be underestimated how much this makes younger females seem unsure, unconfident, and sometimes even incompetent. "We have 23 defects today." "We have 23 defects today?" - BIG DIFFERENCE. I believe that women do this in social settings with each other to make their assertions less threatening. "I was thinking tacos for dinner." "I was thinking tacos for dinner?" "We could do tacos?" But, with younger female professionals, it is a tick that makes it sound like you do not know what you are talking about (The code was pushed to dev last night? The user research was positive?).  If there is one thing on this list to pay attention to, it's this one.
• Guys, Awesome  - Unlike "just," these ones I've noticed almost exclusively in younger men. Much like the next one, this seems to be a tick pervasively in the way younger men relate to each other. "Hey guys!", "Awesome!" are phrases that will instantly make clear that you are newer in your career. Unlike the previous bullet, these words don't undermine competency but are less appropriate in a professional setting, especially with clients, especially when used repeatedly.
• I'm sorry but - This is one of the phrases that I have had to work the most on, personally, particularly in professional disagreements. I typically used the longer phrase "I'm sorry you feel that way but I think ..." I had an epiphany one day as I was writing it - that in fact, I am not sorry and it undermines what I was saying as well as sounds trite. Say I'm sorry when you mean you are sorry; otherwise leave this out.
  Try instead: There is no alternate needed on this one - just take it out; unless you are actually sorry and then say I'm sorry with no but.
• "Just"- ("I was just wondering" "I'm just going to jump in") This is another one that I've had to work on - particularly when approaching a client about a new idea. "I was just wondering if this is something that you would be interested in" vs "is that something you would be interested in?" - the same thing. I was just wondering diminishes the point that you were making. This filler is almost exclusively used by women; it must be a way that we speak to each other -- and is not unique to younger professionals. 
  Try instead: Nix the just; even better - ask the question or jump in without the filler phrase.
• Good Question - If anyone has sat in a sales presentation (often known as "orals" in the consulting world) and listened to a Q&A, I'm sure that you've heard this time after time - "Good question!" "good question" "ah, interesting question". This is usually a filler used when someone needs time to think.
  Try instead: Take a deep breath. Say "Hmm". Just answer the question
• Um, Like - These are the most obvious ones that most everyone is aware of but still seem to proliferate. My advice on improving on this tick is have a coach or peer who is in meetings with you call these out and do a sprint of asking how you did after every meeting. If it is particularly bad, I will count the um's and like's for someone and bring it to their attention. Just as important for someone in the coach setting is calling out as you see someone improving. I think improving on these is a matter of paying attention to it.
• Right? You Know? Does that make sense? This one prompted a lot of discussion in our slack thread, especially asking positive things to say otherwise. This can be for client facing presentations but also for manager / coaching / leadership conversations when you are delegating a task and trying to test for comprehension. But - many of my team self-admitted that it feels patronizing for them but they are trying to figure out if they've clearly communicated. I think this is as much a cultural / expectations setting thing in a relationship - my overarching thought on that is making clear that questions are expected and that you are worried if they AREN'T asking questions. Many new professionals feel worried that if they ask questions they will seem like they don't know what they are doing - but instead I actually think questions demonstrate deeper absorption / interest in the material .
  Try Instead: 
• I'm going to pause for questions? - as a note, when I say this, I tend to try to preview that I am about to pause for questions and then finish my thought. This type of sign posting allows whoever you are talking to a moment to gather their thoughts and questions. "I'm going to pause in a minute for questions, but one last comment on that is XYZ. Okay - questions?" 
• Is anything unclear? 
• What are your thoughts? 
• How does that sound? 
• What's your initial reaction so far? - this was the winner in the team chat (in terms of the amount of likes, at least) as it helped engage discussion even when the person did not have questions
• Subsequently, one thing I've noticed myself saying is thoughts, questions, feelings, emotions? It's almost a joke - except that I do often have emotions about things at work (LOVE IT! or also UGH) but can also be something to help elicit discussion

My team had a host of other words that they are working on or notice in others, listed below - would love for thoughts on other words or phrases that you've worked on limiting.

• I feel (I actually think my team commented that I needed to stop saying this one :) )
• Sort've, Kind've
• 100%
• Do you have any questions? (recommendation to try instead: What do you think so far, what areas can I dive deeper for you)
• In my opinion - opens you up for (sometimes unnecessary) debate. Consider instead what is the fact and then separating out personal experience.
• Actually