Bringing your whole self to work
My team got into a discussion this week based on an article that someone posted in our slack channel about caring for aging parents and how it impacts your career. It quickly evolved into a discussion about bringing your whole self to work - and I wanted to share my thoughts on that topic here...
... which is appropriate because that is the very reason that I started this blog.
I started this blog because when I started thinking about wanting a family or realized that I was pregnant with Charlie, I realized that there were not many people that I felt that I could relate to at IBM (or in other consulting firms) who had been "in my shoes" so to speak: "young" aspiring executive, young baby, demanding job with travel, husband in a career with similar demands. There are women at IBM who have done some or all of those things, but if I'm being honest, it was hard to find them.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I panicked - and started thinking - "okay, Caroline, time to start looking outside of IBM" ... or at least outside of consulting. But, because of the wise counsel of some of the Mom's who have done it, I realized that IBM was at a pivot point -- a point where as a company, it wanted to rally behind women who would give it a go and make it work. That didn't mean that there was an easily defined path for me - or a bevy of people who I could talk to about how they did it. If I'm being totally honest here, some of my biggest supporters were the Dad's who have been through it or have seen their wives experience what I was experiencing; and that surprised me. At the same time, there are many people at IBM who have been the primary bread winner for their family - men and women alike, and Johnny and I have different challenges.
So, long story short, I started this blog to give a voice to people like me. What "like me" means, I'm not really sure. But I wanted my team to feel like they were hearing the real thoughts, real experiences, and real struggles of someone attempting to give the career / working parent path a go.
For example, some of you may have groaned about the posts I've done on breastfeeding (and perhaps you are right now!). But, no one had ever talked to me about what it was like to pump at work before I got pregnant. I tried to read about it, but the Mom Blogs aren't really geared towards someone in the corporate world.
This brings me back to bringing your whole self to work.
... and how important it is.
We all spend most of our lives at work. That means, we experience a lot of non-work things at work. And, because of that, our work people become our people - the ones who experience the good, the bad, and the ugly with us.
As a more junior resource, I looked towards my leadership and tried to find the traits and lifestyles that I wanted to emulate as an employee. And, some of the favorite people that I've worked for, are favorites because they embraced me and the messiness of my life during moments of challenge for me. Likewise, some of the favorite people that I've worked for are people who have been open about the messiness of their own lives.
I think the reality is that we all want to work with and for people who we relate to and respect --- and in a services business, that applies to both our internal team as well as our client team. There are a lot of research about how building boundaries between work and your personal life is actually beneficial: here and here.
As I really think about this though, boundaries aside (and boundaries are important), I think it is really important to bring your whole self, your messy whole self, to work -- as an employee, and especially as a leader.
... which is appropriate because that is the very reason that I started this blog.
I started this blog because when I started thinking about wanting a family or realized that I was pregnant with Charlie, I realized that there were not many people that I felt that I could relate to at IBM (or in other consulting firms) who had been "in my shoes" so to speak: "young" aspiring executive, young baby, demanding job with travel, husband in a career with similar demands. There are women at IBM who have done some or all of those things, but if I'm being honest, it was hard to find them.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I panicked - and started thinking - "okay, Caroline, time to start looking outside of IBM" ... or at least outside of consulting. But, because of the wise counsel of some of the Mom's who have done it, I realized that IBM was at a pivot point -- a point where as a company, it wanted to rally behind women who would give it a go and make it work. That didn't mean that there was an easily defined path for me - or a bevy of people who I could talk to about how they did it. If I'm being totally honest here, some of my biggest supporters were the Dad's who have been through it or have seen their wives experience what I was experiencing; and that surprised me. At the same time, there are many people at IBM who have been the primary bread winner for their family - men and women alike, and Johnny and I have different challenges.
So, long story short, I started this blog to give a voice to people like me. What "like me" means, I'm not really sure. But I wanted my team to feel like they were hearing the real thoughts, real experiences, and real struggles of someone attempting to give the career / working parent path a go.
For example, some of you may have groaned about the posts I've done on breastfeeding (and perhaps you are right now!). But, no one had ever talked to me about what it was like to pump at work before I got pregnant. I tried to read about it, but the Mom Blogs aren't really geared towards someone in the corporate world.
This brings me back to bringing your whole self to work.
... and how important it is.
We all spend most of our lives at work. That means, we experience a lot of non-work things at work. And, because of that, our work people become our people - the ones who experience the good, the bad, and the ugly with us.
As a more junior resource, I looked towards my leadership and tried to find the traits and lifestyles that I wanted to emulate as an employee. And, some of the favorite people that I've worked for, are favorites because they embraced me and the messiness of my life during moments of challenge for me. Likewise, some of the favorite people that I've worked for are people who have been open about the messiness of their own lives.
I think the reality is that we all want to work with and for people who we relate to and respect --- and in a services business, that applies to both our internal team as well as our client team. There are a lot of research about how building boundaries between work and your personal life is actually beneficial: here and here.
As I really think about this though, boundaries aside (and boundaries are important), I think it is really important to bring your whole self, your messy whole self, to work -- as an employee, and especially as a leader.
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