Baby #2 on the way - and how I am approaching being a new mom (round 2!) differently

In the din of excitement in starting the year, one of my most personally exciting things is that my husband and I are expecting our second child in June. It’s a boy (!) which introduces a different lens on thinking that I’ve got this whole parenting thing figured out. We are so super excited for this- and can’t wait for the new love and joy that will come in to our lives in June. I can’t wait to see Charlie as a big sister; my in-laws gave Charlie a doll for Christmas that she kisses every morning and brings to us so we can kiss it too- so we are off to a great start!

My second pregnancy has been a different experience than my first in many ways. In retrospect, my first almost feels as though I was tackling a research project to figure out the unknown - wanting to have as much data as I could about what it would be like. Also, in retrospect, I spent my entire first pregnancy filled with a sense of tremendous anxiety about how being a parent would change me and how (or whether?) it would alter my ability to be successful at work. I’ve written about how I made this a bigger deal than it should’ve been and that - for the most part - the work life balance that I craved to be a present parent and employee was easier to achieve than I expected.

As I look forward into having our son, I am confident in my own abilities as a parent as well as have some idea what to expect. Every person is different and therefore every baby is different so I am sure we will have some adjustments to make in approach and style; however, knowing that it was a process quickly learned with Charlie, I’m sure that it will be similarly quickly learned with #2.

With all this confidence, I have had a new set of challenge and trepidation in this pregnancy that I did not have in the first. In October, we found out we were expecting baby #2 on a Saturday and on Monday, I was approached about my current leadership role. My current role is something that I have aspired to since the day I joined IBM BUT even though it meant realizing a long-standing goal, I initially wondered whether or not I should accept the role. Realizing quickly that most men probably would not entertain this doubt, I pushed that thought to the side and joyfully accepted the role.

My next challenge was wondering about how to handle my parental leave. 18 weeks is a long time to be gone for someone who is responsible for a business (albeit small in the grand scheme of IBM). While IBM has some pretty incredible gender diversity in senior leader roles, my observation is that there is still a gap in diversity in the middle leadership roles — and certainly many women in these roles have moved beyond child bearing years. I’ve never personally worked with someone who has gone on leave while in a leadership role and don’t have anything (or anyone) to really bench mark against. Upon further reflection, I realized that I would tell anyone who worked for me (man or woman- IBM offers some pretty incredible parental leave benefits so this is no longer a female-only issue) that this is one of the most incredible times in your personal life and you would be absolutely nuts to consider missing even one moment of this. So, I realized I need to heed my own advice here.

Where has this left me? Honestly, it’s left me feeling a ton of pressure to have my little part of the business running like a well oiled machine before I go out so that there is a seamless transition.

I want to be incredibly clear- every single person who I work with and for has been totally amazing and supportive - and joyful for me in what is a huge moment for me personally. The pressure I feel is entirely self-imposed. But, pressure I feel, nonetheless.

In reflecting on my New Year resolutions - and/or my 2019 goals, one of my most central goals is delegation. This is a hard one for me because I have always found that immersing myself in the detail is what helps me feel confidently to speak articulately, especially in new areas where I may not be the SME. So, as I take on new challenges as a leader, it’s really hard for me to not roll up my sleeves and jump in. But, my leadership challenge in this chapter of my life is setting up a business to be sustainable without its leader - and making sure that my people and processes not only keep going but thrive while I am out.