Meditation for a Monday
Several weeks ago, I attended a training at INSEAD (a business school in France) with a number of the leaders from the IBM iX organization. One thing that struck me was that one of our senior leaders made a comment about how she starts each day with meditation. I've written about my struggles with guilt and how one of my goals is to move beyond that this year; likewise another goal of mine this year is around being more present. After hearing Nancy talk about her meditation routine, I started researching and reflecting on this - and, for the past month, have been trying to incorporate a meditation into my own routine.
As a bit of context, I am Catholic and converted to Catholicism when I married Johnny. As I was in the process of my own faith journey, I read a lot of books, especially enjoying many by Father James Martin, who is a Jesuit priest. Likewise, my husband is Jesuit educated and I like to joke that I myself would be a Jesuit if I could be. The Jesuits are known for a focus on "finding God in all things," are known for their ministry through education, and through this ministry, they focus on creating "men and women for others" - a concept that I've really liked (on having a life focused on others).
One of the prayers that is foundational to Ignatian spirituality is called the Examen. In the Examen, some of the core components are:
1. Reviewing the day with gratitude
2. Reflecting on moments throughout the day where you experienced God's love or God's presence
3. Reflect on your own shortcomings / failures in the day and think about ways you could improve
I've always really loved the Examen - in fact, I keep an Examen prayer card in my wallet on top of the credit card that I use the most to remind me to do it more often.
I've written a lot of blogs on topics that have made me nervous to write about; and here I am writing a blog where I'm talking about religion! However, I'm writing about this about something that works for me and that I enjoy - but also a practice (reflecting on positive moments in the day) that has helped me ground myself. Obviously, these are my own opinions on what has worked well for me.
Anyway, what I like so much about it is that it is not focused on every moment in your life every great moment or every failing you've ever had - but just on today, which is inherently more manageable - especially on the shortcomings part. I also find that the concept of reviewing your day with gratitude and specifically looking for moments where you experienced God's presence (or in a more secular way, moments where you experienced joy) is incredibly refreshing. These aren't necessarily meant to be big moments (e.g., getting a promotion), but small things (e.g., a beautiful day, a really delicious coffee, someone being nice in line, etc.) It is really easy to think about moments in a day that you wish you could re-do or that you are unhappy with because they really tend to stick with you. But, thinking about walking outside and finally feeling sun on your face after weeks of cold, and reveling in how lovely that is.... is not something I do much.
So, since INSEAD, I have been trying to take 5-10 minutes to do the Examen every day, especially focusing on reviewing my day with gratitude. I've found that doing this when I'm giving Charlie her bottle at night is a restful time to do this, especially since I am stuck in a dark room with no other distractions other than to sit and reflect. However, I will also do this in an uber, during take-off on a flight, whatever.
When I first started doing it on a more regular basis, I noticed that the moments that I was really focusing on as I reviewed my day were Charlie and Johnny centered. It is really easy, especially with Charlie, to review my day and find moment's of God's love (or joy). She is at an age where she is delighted to see me in the morning, delighted to be with me at almost all times, and gives the absolute best hugs. Likewise, I am really lucky that Johnny does a really good job of going out of his way to do thoughtful things like doing the laundry, making me a mocktail when he is having a drink, getting out of bed first to start breakfast so that when Charlie and I get downstairs things are already moving.
But, I've also tried to be a lot more focused at finding those moments in my work day. We don't always experience a lot of joy at work, in fact, there are some days that don't feel very joyful at all. My job right now is challenging, particularly as it relates to time management, and so often I go through the day feeling stretched thin, running late to every meeting, and not having time to do things I need to do. I end the day feeling a bit frazzled; and not especially full of gratitude. However, I've found that since really trying to focus on finding these good moments during the workday, they are all around - a good joke on a conference call, someone calling to check in, making good progress on a presentation, having someone who you work with who you really enjoy. For me, at least, it's really easy to lose these moments in the context of all the other things that stress me out.
The other piece that I'm trying to incorporate into this meditation exercise is to express some of that gratitude to others. This makes me feel good, and I think it generally makes others feel good (though, I will admit that words of affirmation are definitely my love language, so whether or not it actually makes others feel good is probably a whole other blog post). But, most importantly, it's been helping me be present in the moment, particularly focusing on being present in the good and how I can be thoughtful of the moments where I wish I had done something differently on a more real-time basis.
As a bit of context, I am Catholic and converted to Catholicism when I married Johnny. As I was in the process of my own faith journey, I read a lot of books, especially enjoying many by Father James Martin, who is a Jesuit priest. Likewise, my husband is Jesuit educated and I like to joke that I myself would be a Jesuit if I could be. The Jesuits are known for a focus on "finding God in all things," are known for their ministry through education, and through this ministry, they focus on creating "men and women for others" - a concept that I've really liked (on having a life focused on others).
One of the prayers that is foundational to Ignatian spirituality is called the Examen. In the Examen, some of the core components are:
1. Reviewing the day with gratitude
2. Reflecting on moments throughout the day where you experienced God's love or God's presence
3. Reflect on your own shortcomings / failures in the day and think about ways you could improve
I've always really loved the Examen - in fact, I keep an Examen prayer card in my wallet on top of the credit card that I use the most to remind me to do it more often.
I've written a lot of blogs on topics that have made me nervous to write about; and here I am writing a blog where I'm talking about religion! However, I'm writing about this about something that works for me and that I enjoy - but also a practice (reflecting on positive moments in the day) that has helped me ground myself. Obviously, these are my own opinions on what has worked well for me.
Anyway, what I like so much about it is that it is not focused on every moment in your life every great moment or every failing you've ever had - but just on today, which is inherently more manageable - especially on the shortcomings part. I also find that the concept of reviewing your day with gratitude and specifically looking for moments where you experienced God's presence (or in a more secular way, moments where you experienced joy) is incredibly refreshing. These aren't necessarily meant to be big moments (e.g., getting a promotion), but small things (e.g., a beautiful day, a really delicious coffee, someone being nice in line, etc.) It is really easy to think about moments in a day that you wish you could re-do or that you are unhappy with because they really tend to stick with you. But, thinking about walking outside and finally feeling sun on your face after weeks of cold, and reveling in how lovely that is.... is not something I do much.
So, since INSEAD, I have been trying to take 5-10 minutes to do the Examen every day, especially focusing on reviewing my day with gratitude. I've found that doing this when I'm giving Charlie her bottle at night is a restful time to do this, especially since I am stuck in a dark room with no other distractions other than to sit and reflect. However, I will also do this in an uber, during take-off on a flight, whatever.
When I first started doing it on a more regular basis, I noticed that the moments that I was really focusing on as I reviewed my day were Charlie and Johnny centered. It is really easy, especially with Charlie, to review my day and find moment's of God's love (or joy). She is at an age where she is delighted to see me in the morning, delighted to be with me at almost all times, and gives the absolute best hugs. Likewise, I am really lucky that Johnny does a really good job of going out of his way to do thoughtful things like doing the laundry, making me a mocktail when he is having a drink, getting out of bed first to start breakfast so that when Charlie and I get downstairs things are already moving.
But, I've also tried to be a lot more focused at finding those moments in my work day. We don't always experience a lot of joy at work, in fact, there are some days that don't feel very joyful at all. My job right now is challenging, particularly as it relates to time management, and so often I go through the day feeling stretched thin, running late to every meeting, and not having time to do things I need to do. I end the day feeling a bit frazzled; and not especially full of gratitude. However, I've found that since really trying to focus on finding these good moments during the workday, they are all around - a good joke on a conference call, someone calling to check in, making good progress on a presentation, having someone who you work with who you really enjoy. For me, at least, it's really easy to lose these moments in the context of all the other things that stress me out.
The other piece that I'm trying to incorporate into this meditation exercise is to express some of that gratitude to others. This makes me feel good, and I think it generally makes others feel good (though, I will admit that words of affirmation are definitely my love language, so whether or not it actually makes others feel good is probably a whole other blog post). But, most importantly, it's been helping me be present in the moment, particularly focusing on being present in the good and how I can be thoughtful of the moments where I wish I had done something differently on a more real-time basis.
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