The Roche Report

This blog is a guest blog written by two members of my team who have recently returned from paternity leave. I asked them to write this upon reflecting on the most common question I get when I travel for work: " Who's taking care of your kids ?" I wrote a whole blog on this subject is, but the net / net is that I think an answer to helping women have a more significant role in the workplace is enabling Dad's to be equal caregivers to their kids - a big element of which is paternity leave.  IBM has an awesome parental leave package - for all parents. But, I've heard many examples of men more or less being gaslit about taking their leave. "What are you going to do?" "You're not really busy, right - let's talk for a couple of minutes", "how are you going to hit your targets if you take leave?" (obviously this is a problem for women in sales TOO!)! Thankfully, in the current era, I think this "shaming" around leave doesn

I've recently returned to somewhat frequent work travel. In that return to travel, I have been reminded of the question that most got under my skin pre-pandemic. Without fail, when I am traveling for work, someone will say to me some version of: "it's so great you are here! but.... who is with the kids?????" "Is your mom watching the kids while you are gone?" "Is your nanny spending the night at the house while you are gone?" I often think this tremendously well meaning question - that is almost always said in a tone of empathy (wow! you are doing so much! how are you taking care of your kids too?) - is really actually a pretty offensive question to my husband. The assumption is that my husband could not POSSIBLY be with the kids while I am gone - and if he is, he most certainly could not be alone. I am a HUGE Dr. Becky Kennedy fan and recently listened to two of her podcasts - one with Reshma Saujani - the founder of Girls Who Code, and one with E

Throughout my career, I've spent a lot of time coaching young professionals and one of the things that I've observed is that the colloquial language that is often used amongst peers is one of the biggest detractors in what is coined as "executive presence" but is really just speaking articulately in a business setting. Executive presence is a nebulous term - kind of along the lines of "professional maturity."  I started making a list of common phrases that I hear and/or have coached people on - but then took it to the "streets" aka my team slack channel, asking what words they have worked to stop using in professional settings. What was interesting in the conversation was people chiming in with requests for help (UGH I DO THAT - what are better ways to stop?), and then awesome suggestions for help. Below are some of my thoughts - and some of the team's thoughts. I've color coded the big female / male ones as well: Ending a statement in a qu

One of the luckiest things in my life is that I am in several group chats with different sets of mom friends with kids ranging from 0 - 5, where we have the opportunity to ask each other questions or vent about the random situations our kids get themselves into. A perfect example of this was on Veteran's Day when my daughter and nanny interrupted one of my meetings to inform me that my daughter had cut her hair completely off on one side of her head ("but I wanted long hair!" she exclaimed, making her decision to saw off her hair completely more confusing). In reflecting on those group chats, and in conversations with many first time parents on my team, I often have this thought: first time parents are so  hard on themselves (third time parents can be too!, just less).  I've been thinking about some reflections that I wish I could share with myself pre- or early-parenthood self.... more below:  Prioritizing your kids over work is usually easy - this was my big worry

It's January and time for New Year's Resolutions and goal setting - and I am certainly not alone in committing to Wellness in 2022; for me, some of the changes I've been making recently have been a long time coming and a long time considered. A big element influencing my commitment to this is that following the death of my father and some health problems for my mom - and I've had a great deal of personal reflection on what this means for me and my family for the future. In addition to the reflection, I've also done a good deal of research about what can be preventatively done to avoid the same health problems - and it turns out, a lot. However, my journey with this actually started a little over a year ago when I started more closely following a friend from high school, Casey Means, who has had an amazing career and has truly inspired me personally and professionally. The "short" version of her story is that she is a Stanford-educated MD and was training a

I attended an all girls school that was wonderful for many reasons; one of which was a tag line, "Madeira girls have something to say." A big element of the curriculum was fostering discussion among the girls, and encouraging each student to speak up and share their views. I have reflected since that this may have been one of the areas where I had some early practice that has helped me long term in my career. This week, I was asked to share my experience / tips on how to have a voice at the table; a more junior resource on my team expressed that she was struggling mightily with feeling like she could not get a word in edge wise and is constantly being talked over. Her mentor shared with me that she noted that there is a lot of yielding the floor when two people start to talk at the same time and a lot of "oh sorry, go ahead Joe." This has been something that I have worked on a lot through my career - and something man / woman, young / old, we all need to work on in

I lost my Dad, Theodore Groom, on November 26 - and the past 10 days has been fairly overwhelming - both in terms of the outpouring of love that my family and I have experienced and also at how hard it has been to lose someone who has been a major pillar of my life. My Dad started a law firm in 1975, called Groom Law Group, that focuses on employee benefits law - and is in fact the largest employee benefits law firm in the country. My Dad was very well known in the employee benefits law space, having been integral in the drafting of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (known as ERISA). He was the recipient of many "best of" awards throughout his legal career, including being listed as a Best Lawyer in America for 26 years. If you are interested in learning more about my Dad: Obituary Groom Law - Remembrance of Ted Groom He was a titan - a mountain of a man. I, of course, knew many sides of my Dad: the adventurer who hitch hiked from Arlington, Virginia to Kans